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Portugese Tart?

Posted on May 24, 2017

From time to time some beautiful boys get in touch with me to talk about kink. Often they have very limited experience – which is totally fine as I’ve always been very liberal with advice. However, recently I’ve been contacted by more boys who have little or no sexual experience at all. The internet means that many virgins are thinking seriously about getting into kink before they’ve had regular sex. I’m ok with this as long as they understand the distinction between the two. I always like to remind them that the best kinky sex in the world doesn’t compare with the amazing connection you have from simply fucking someone you love. Of course kinky sex can certainly beat the fuck out of vanilla sex with someone you don’t love – so I’m certainly in favour of having both...

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Reflections on Monogamy

Posted on May 13, 2017

IIt’s been a very interesting year for me. Most of my readers know that I’m a very sexual person. Monogamy with a partner was never a desire of mine. I had previously often described my desires as looking for one perfect guy to have three ways with for the rest of my life. A partner in crime, if you will. But over the last twelve months something has definitely changed. I think probably the first sign of this was at the Black Party in NYC.  This party is probably the largest fetish party in New York and I was really looking forward to going. But when I got there, it was more interesting than wonderfully sexual. I’ve had the privilege to be able to go to some of the great kink events in the world, but the Black Party wasn’t one...

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It’s just sex…

Posted on Aug 30, 2015

There’s been a lot of talk recently about Bro Jobs….where straight guys blow each other for fun. There has been a range of press speculation that this is actually becoming more common – and I have to agree that it is. I know a lot of young men who identify primarily as straight who are perfectly keen to experiment with me and other guys. I think there’s a growing realization that its perfectly ok to experiment and try stuff without fundamentally altering how you perceive yourself. However, there is an interesting double standard in society that I think is being broken down slowly yet inexorably. It’s an interesting observation that if a gay guy has sex with a woman (whether experimentally, for fun, etc.) then it doesn’t fundamentally change how people sees him. If a gay guy goes to...

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Am I actually kinky?

Posted on Jun 30, 2014

Some questions from a 20yo in the UK who is thinking about getting into kink… Hey I read some of your posts off your website and I have a question, how do you know that you actually enjoy a bit of SM fun, and that it isn’t just fantasy won’t match up to the reality of it happening? Plus how do you take the plunge and just do it? Really good questions. Reality is always different to fantasy. And that’s actually a good thing. There are some things that should remain a fantasy. Sometimes for practical reasons (where the hell can you find a hot centaur?), sometimes for safety reasons (maybe shoving that cactus up your ass won’t feel as good as you imagine?) and sometimes for emotional reasons (maybe I should remain faithful to my partner rather than...

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Deep in Texas

Posted on Feb 27, 2014

I’m in Texas at the moment, unfortunately without any time to give the local boys what they apparently need. 😉 However, I was very impressed with the profile text of a hot boy on Recon and I thought it was worth sharing as it represents something extremely close to other attitude I look for in boys that I want to have a long term relationship with. Beautifully articulated. 🙂 Strength Is A Lifestyle Reach out and take control. That is what I look for in a partner, sexual or otherwise. I love to serve and service, but my true pleasure comes from feeling that my top is completely in control of the situation. He is a true Alpha, and knows that I am his Omega. He dominates, controls, but never belittles or degrades. He knows that I am CHOOSING...

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Posted on Nov 19, 2013

Well I finally did it…. I was sick of boys saying that they couldn’t find my site…. “It’s like an under construction page or something” they would say when I gave them the address. It turns out that they were leaving the second S out of when they typed it into their browsers – and going to instead. So I finally did a deal to purchase the domain – which now redirects to this website. I did think briefly about renaming the site soxter – but I think the second S makes the name a bit more interesting and playful – so I’m going to stick with it. 🙂 Another small step in becoming a little more...

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Beginners Guide

Posted on Nov 6, 2013

As I’ve no doubt mentioned before, I do play with a lot of younger guys and beginners. In fact as I write this I’ve had my fist inside four guys aged under 23 in the last ten days! (An 18yo, 19yo, 21yo and 22yo). That’s pretty extraordinary. But there are a lot of young guys with no experience at all. And sometimes they get nervous before they meet me.  Which is entirely understandable.  Of course once they do meet me they realize I’m a nice adorkable bear who they can trust – but they aren’t to know that straight off. One of the problem with young guys is that they often want to go too far, too fast. They talk with people online and eagerly agree to more and more hardcore plans and then when it’s time to play...

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Putting on a show

Posted on Oct 30, 2013

I mentioned to a friend of mine that I had hit more than 600 viewers on and he casually mentioned that he once topped 1,100 viewers – by himself. When I asked him what he had done to get so much attention he replied that he was just jerking off and fingering himself. I was surprised as lots of people do that…. ….and then he mentioned that it was a few years ago when he was 16. Yeah, I guess that would do...

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Young Lust

Posted on Oct 23, 2013

I’ve been reflecting on the awesomeness of some young people today and the fundamental differences between them and how I was at their age. I had sex while I was in high school but it tended to be quite furtive and experimental. There’s an old joke that comes to mind. Question: When masturbating, what’s the most sensitive part of your body? Answer: Your ears. I think that’s kind of what sex in high school or uni was like for me. Rushed, hurried and it didn’t really result in relaxed experiences. I grew up before Internet porn so the best we had was some magazines, the occasion video and underwear models. The other distinction is that almost all the porn we had access to was straight porn. Porn stolen or ‘borrowed’ from parents or older brothers. There simply wasn’t access...

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Addressing Rumours

Posted on Sep 14, 2013

Just to address a few rumours flying around, no I did not damage my arm by fisting the Incredible Hulk. Yes, my arm will be stuffed for a total of nine weeks (one down, eight to go). Yes, boys have dropped by to jack me off – but can always use a few more. Yes, it would have been worth it if I had gotten a date with the hot ambo. Yes, I can still fist with my left hand (and right if you can take a plastic covered cast). Feeling a bit down, but helped enormously by my friends and blog readers who have gotten in touch with their get well wishes – my sincere thanks to you all....

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I’m Definitely Getting Old

Posted on Aug 3, 2013

I recently attended a high school reunion which included an optional tour of the campus before the festivities began. The last stop on the tour was the sports centre which included the pool where I had learned to swim as a young child. In secondary school I had participated in and observed inter-house swimming competitions, and played a variety of water games including water polo, and engaged in various high jinks in that pool. Our school’s swimming uniform was dark green speedos. Watching boys in speedos certainly confirmed to me that I liked male bodies. It was definitely one those formative experiences. I might not have been sure about what I wanted to do with boys – but I knew I liked them and I knew I liked some of them more than others, which I suppose was an...

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Risky Business

Posted on Jul 1, 2013

I might be adventurous when it comes to sex but I’m conservative when it comes to drugs. It is really interesting to me how many guys I play with express surprise after a session at how much fun they can have with me without being wired or high. I discourage drug use during sessions as I prefer to try and establish as honest a connection as possible However there is one exception – which is amyl. In Australia we generally refer to it as amyl – rather than poppers. For those of you who don’t know what amyl is, go and have a read on line. I’m not recommending you use it – but become knowledgeable and make an informed decision. A friend of mine once said he likes amyl because it’s a “Non committal high”.  Within a few...

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Sexy Souvineers

Posted on Jun 28, 2013

I enjoy travel. I’m fortunate enough to be able to take three or four overseas trips each year. I’m sure that doesn’t sound like many to someone who lives in Europe or Asia but when you consider that from Melbourne it is fourteen hours to Los Angeles, nine hours to Singapore and about 24 hours to Europe it’s a bit of an achievement.   I’m writing this after a two hour flight from London to Berlin – which is an incredibly short flight time for an Australian. When you fly from Melbourne to Europe it takes nearly five hours before you pass over the Australian coast line and head out over the Indian Ocean. I hope everyone in Europe appreciates how easy they have it! And if I hear one more American complaining how long it takes to fly...

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Xavier Help?

Posted on May 22, 2013

I have a boy who has a fetish for Xavier school uniforms (A Melbourne private boys school – as featured in the autobiography “Holding the Man”). Does anyone have access to one? ...

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Improvisational Self Analysis – Part 3

Posted on May 11, 2013

Well, well. A few if you are quite bitchy, aren’t you? In response to my question about what a boy could put up his ass I received a few suggestions – some of which didn’t so much answer the question but rather recommended parental retraining. Every family is different, and I’m not going to presume to interfere with a boy’s relationship with his mother, but for completeness here are some of the answers – many submitted via the forum on Visit a candle shop. There are lots of shapes and sizes. Buy three or more. One of them should be of the desired shape and size and the others should look good in a group with the specially selected candle, but should be of sizes and shapes that one would never use in such a manner. If he...

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Improvisional Self Analysis – Part 2

Posted on May 6, 2013

I’ve had some suggestions: If your young friend is into computers then he can store it in old pc case – you can fit a lot in them – no locks mum never looks A small fire proof safe – locked and you can say photos and documents are stored plus toys Hi Andrew, easy answer to your 18 yr olds friends problem ! A modern artwork in the form of a vase filled with numerous lengths and diameters of dowel. (Think of a bambo arrangement). Dowel comes in numerous diameters up to at least 2″. The pieces would obviously have to be sanded well to shape the ends, could be painted different colors ?? How pretty and modern 🙂 Your friend could have a different color and size for every day of the month ! Probably would wack...

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Improvisational Self Analysis

Posted on Apr 29, 2013

Dear Readers – I need your assistance and recommendations. I’ve been talking to an eighteen year old who lives at home with his parents who has a problem – he doesn’t have anywhere to hide a dildo. The real issue here is that he will have to train his mother to understand that he is an adult and should be given privacy and stay the hell out of his room. But I know that’s harder to achieve than it sounds. Plus, he would have to clean his own room so it’s not all good. So the challenge is that he needs to have things in his room he can shove into his teenage ass that won’t cause suspicion. Not that parents are stupid – but we want to give them plausible deniability.  If they don’t want to believe he’s...

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We gave the world, new ways to….

Posted on Apr 5, 2013

An extremely vanilla friend of mine was once told by a mutual friend that I had been trying a new fetish. His response was, “It’s Andrew – of course he’s found a new way to have sex”. I think I may be developing a reputation. ...

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Sounds like I have a good reputation

Posted on Mar 18, 2013

I got this message from someone who I’ve been talking to regularly about BDSM: Him: You’re not in loft room 6 at Club 80 by any chance are you? Me: Nope – in the city Him: Ahh k. Seems like a good scene…experienced master by the sounds of it How sweet, he hears good BDSM sex through a door of Melbourne’s kink and leather sex on site premises and thinks of me. I’m going to take that as a compliment. ...

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Digital Clocks Aren’t Romantic

Posted on Feb 25, 2013

A very funny comedienne once said that one of the least romantic things to have in your bedroom is a glowing digital clock. She said that it means that you can work out exactly how long the sex lasted –  and that most people would much rather be left their illusions. If it felt like it went for ages then you don’t need to know it was only three minutes. She pointed out that even in the height of passion, most people can still subtract – especially when three of the numbers on the clock haven’t changed. Filming sex means that you can find out from the time code exactly how long it went. I’ve always liked really long sessions and to an extent the video almost becomes a bit of a score card.  Also means you can’t lie....

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Opening Up

Posted on Feb 23, 2013

Today I got this question from someone I have previously played with. I had opened him up in my sling but he didn’t manage to get my hand inside him. I remember thinking at the time that he had quite a way to go before he would be wide enough to take a fist despite his obvious enthusiasm – which is second only to his love of punctuation.  😉 Hi Andrew, I would like your honest and experienced opinion on something! This weekend my boyfriend and I spent time with a third person, had loads of hot fun, pretty much no holds barred, to the point of said person pretty much saying that he could fist me without a problem , even though I had told him I’d been unsuccessful in the past. Of course I ended up in...

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Planning for Fun

Posted on Feb 23, 2013

If you can’t plan sex then it’s reasonable to ask whether you can be trusted to plan anything in your life. There are a large number of people who simply can’t plan sex in advance – which I’ve always found a little weird. Two weeks ago I found this advertisement on Craig’s List; I need pain, looking for man to hurt me while I pleasure him – m4m – 25 (Travel to you ) I’m a worthless piece of shit and I want a man to hurt me. Spank me, slap me, abuse my nipples, make me cry and beg for mercy. Can’t host can travel to yours. I will be eternally grateful if you hurt me. I responded: Check out my blog at – and you will see I know how to hurt…. Hey looks great… When...

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Foreign Affairs

Posted on Jan 31, 2013

Well it’s time for me to go traveling – it’s been almost four months since I’ve been overseas and so it’s time to go exploring again. Comedian Lenny Henry once said we shouldn’t be called Australia, we should just be called “far”. Which is pretty close to the truth. There aren’t many places in the world that are a 22 hour flight from New York.  Rather than subject myself to LAX I’ve decided to change planes in Hawaii and spend some time there in each direction to break up the journey. Just a short trip to New York with a side trip to visit an amazing boy in Orlando…I’m sure there will be some adventures along the way. Stay tuned. And of course if you live in New York and are young and cute and kinky – get in...

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Fucking with Ice

Posted on Jan 26, 2013

It’s summer in Australia. While the thought of ice at this time of year may give northern hemisphere gays pause for thought – it’s hot here. If you’ve never given or received a blow job with an ice cube in the suckers mouth then definitely give it a go. It’s fun for both the sucker and suckee. Another favourite of mine is to fuck a guy and then slip an ice cube into his butt and fuck some more. As the ice melts it dilutes the lube and the bottom boy really feels it. Works best for experienced bottoms. Has an element of risk – if the ice cracks in the butt it might have sharp edges so use a small ice cube. And obviously make it smooth before you slide it in. Be careful and enjoy responsibly. For...

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Provenance is Sexy

Posted on Jan 25, 2013

Main Entry: prov·e·nance Function: noun Etymology: French, from provenir to come forth, originate, from Latin provenire, from pro- forth + venire to come Date: 1785 1 : origin, source 2 : the history of ownership of a valued object or work of art or literature A friend of mine was recently clearing out a garage and found the original suitcases that his parents used when they emigrated from Italy to Australia in the 1950s. He asked a local museum whether they would like them and their response was really interesting. They said that they had quite a few examples of suitcases but what would make them interesting was the provenance of the items. If my friend could prepare information on who used them, which town they traveled from in Italy, where they settled in Australia, about their families and...

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BDSM isn’t a shopping list

Posted on Jan 24, 2013

I’m pretty patient with people who are interested in playing, but every so often someone comes along who can annoy me.  The following exchange occurred on Recon with a young guy who had viewed this blog, and who I had talked to about what a beginner session involved. My problem with his attitude was that he just didn’t get that BDSM is about more than a collection of acts. It’s about building a connection. He made no attempt to get to know me, or what my attitude is towards BDSM – he obsessed in trying to get me to detail what would happen to him.. yeh but can you walk me through it on here now first? on how youd go about this jsut i like to be prepared and no what im on for and that we are...

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The Rites of Spring (ed mattresses)

Posted on Jan 13, 2013

I was talking to one of my good girlfriends, who enjoys sleeping with young men as much as I do, about the fact that many guys seek me out for their first BDSM experience. She made me laugh out loud when she pointed that “You’ve become a rite of passage”. It’s funny because it’s true. 🙂 I think that for many young gay Australian guys having a BDSM experience is now something that they have to try. It’s up there with going on that big trip to Europe, going to Sydney’s Mardi Gras or buying your first sex toy. (and we Australians know how to travel – there are only about twenty million of us but we are everywhere!) When a newbie tries BDSM they are generally either grateful for the experience but decide it isn’t for them, really...

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Safer Parties

Posted on Dec 25, 2012

There have been a number of times over the years where I have found myself in extremely hedonistic environments. Orgies, parties, group sex, kink nights, porn sets, to mention just a few. The danger of those situations is that you tend to forget consequences and live for the moment. I’m someone who prides himself on remaining in control, and I haven’t had any slip ups, but not everyone has been as lucky. When I was at Hustlaball in Berlin I was in the middle of the dance floor watching the models suck, fuck and fist on stage. There were guys all around me sucking cock on their knees and quite a few guys having bareback sex. I wonder how many of them were caught up in the moment and regretted not having safe sex in the morning (and for...

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Posted on Dec 10, 2012

Last month I received a phone call at 1.17am from a twenty year old in some distress. Two days before he had done a session with two tops who love wrapping up boys in duct tape. He had a great time with them  and they had put him into chastity for three days until their next session. However, there was a problem. His foreskin had become inflamed and he was in considerable pain. The pain was increasing and there was no chance of sleep.  He was tired and emotional, and wanted my advice. I asked if he could break the lock or the cage but it turned out to be a metal lock on a metal chasity device. Definitely a top of the line model. I have to get one of these:—male-chastity-device-p3269.aspx I asked all the logical questions....

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First Time for Fag Boy

Posted on Dec 7, 2012

I chat with a lot of interesting people online and recently I’ve been chatting to a closeted bi boy in his mid 20s who refers to himself as fag boy. We’ve been talking about his desire to be dominated. He lives outside of Melbourne so I suspect we won’t meet for a while as he will need to find a good excuse to come to the city to play with me. He seems like an interesting guy who is pretty clear on what he wants in terms of BDSM play. He hasn’t ever been fucked though – so I’m looking forward to working him up to that. He mentioned his first time, and I asked him to write it up. Here it is for your enjoyment. This story begged the question whether or not he was into being dominated...

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