Something has been troubling me. There is a really lovely young man who I first fucked when he was 19. He didn’t have the easiest time coming out as his parents weren’t thrilled about it – and not very supportive. In fact the exact opposite of supportive. Very very not supportive.
He came out as being gay quite some time before he went all the way with a guy. Which was obviously a big step. When he finally went all the way that guy happened to be me. Good old fashioned vanilla sex. It was a lot of fun and we both had a great time. OK, so it was vanilla sex that also involved a sling for part of it, but no one got tied up or anything. And if you are going to get fucked for the first time, doing it in a sling makes it considerably easier and more comfortable. Any newbies out there, please note I love popping cherries! (and I’m really good at it) 😛
He embraced the gay lifestyle, went to clubs, had a rainbow flag on his desk at work, made pro-gay comments on facebook, and did all the normal things that young gays do.
But along the way he had his heart broken by guys a few too many times – and then one day when he was 21 he confessed that he was now straight.
Yes – that’s right. From a rainbow flag bearing faggot to straight boy, practically overnight. Naturally his parents were thrilled. As if to reinforce his new found heterosexuality he went and got a massive tattoo and started sleeping around with girls.
Now while it was nice to inherit his now unwanted collection of gay porn, gay magazines and gay films, it was a bit unsettling.
How could someone go from totally gay to totally straight in a matter of weeks?
My theory is that like so many guys, he was actually attracted to both men and women. What disturbs me is that rather than admitting that and saying “yeah, watching two guys fuck is hot, but I prefer doing it with women”, he now actually denies that he now finds men attractive at all.
I guess I’m concerned that perhaps he isn’t being entirely honest with himself. It’s been my privilege to fuck many hot bi boys over the years – sometimes with their girlfriend’s permission and others without. Fucking around with me doesn’t mean that these bi boys prefer sex with men – for many of these guys they enjoy the variety, the chance to get some cock. And then they go and fuck their girlfriends later. One of the boys once said he loved fucking his girlfriend the night after I fucked him as his ass still felt tender when he was pounding her.
I guess what I’m saying is that I want this guy to be happy. I just want to make sure that he isn’t repressing anything. I want to live in a world where people are are allowed to have more complex sexualities and a range of interests and desires. However, until that happens, consider this a lesson to be honest with yourself. Know what your desires and turns ons are. Doesn’t mean you have to act on them – but acknowledge them to yourselves. I’m sure many people read this blog who are turned on by the idea of BDSM but who will choose not to act on it- and that’s absolutely fine! It is your choice whether to act on your desires, but just don’t deny your desires to yourself. 🙂