“There seemed to be no use in waiting by the little door, so she went back to the table, half hoping she might find another key on it, or at any rate a book of rules for shutting people up like telescopes: this time she found a little bottle on it, (`which certainly was not here before,’ said Alice,) and round the neck of the bottle was a paper label, with the words `DRINK ME’ beautifully printed on it in large letters.

It was all very well to say `Drink me,’ but the wise little Alice was not going to do that in a hurry. `No, I’ll look first,’ she said, `and see whether it’s marked “poison” or not’; for she had read several nice little histories about children who had got burnt, and eaten up by wild beasts and other unpleasant things, all because they would not remember the simple rules their friends had taught them: such as, that a red-hot poker will burn you if you hold it too long; and that if you cut your finger very deeply with a knife, it usually bleeds; and she had never forgotten that, if you drink much from a bottle marked `poison,’ it is almost certain to disagree with you, sooner or later.  

However, this bottle was not marked `poison,’ so Alice ventured to taste it, and finding it very nice, (it had, in fact, a sort of mixed flavour of cherry-tart, custard, pine-apple, roast turkey, toffee, and hot buttered toast,) she very soon finished it off.”

The above paragraphs from Alice in Wonderland came to mind when I had a session with a young guy who didn’t know how you use amyl (often called poppers). He had seen the movie “Not Another Gay Movie” where there is a joke involving a novice who thinks that you are supposed to drink amyl. He drinks it just before a guy tries to fist him – and the scene is very funny. But this kid hadn’t gotten the joke – he thought that was actually what you were supposed to do. 
He asked if he could try amyl. I handed him the bottle and he looked at it intently.
“So how much am I supposed to drink?” he asked curiously? I practically snatched it out of his hand as I cringed inside.

So let me make this as clear as possible: you don’t drink amyl – you are supposed to sniff it.  But before you play around with any drug, substance or get involved in any particular kink, please do your research.

In our next lesson we will explore how the bright green substance on the table at many Japanese restaurants probably isn’t avocado but something called wasabi.  We will also explore why it probably isn’t a good idea to attempt to pat wild moose, hippos and kangaroos. 😉