I play with a lot of beginners – guys who haven’t had much sexual experience. I really enjoy showing guys new things, I guess it fulfils my love of education and teaching. So I wanted to share a story from right back when I first started having sex with guys. It’s a story that I think illustrates how important it is to consider the emotional side of sex as well as the physical. Feelings as well as mechanics.
An amazing guy (who is still a friend) and I checked into a hotel in Melbourne for a night of fun. I hadn’t had much sexual experience – plenty of hurried hand-jobs and blow-jobs but without necessarily a lot of emotional connections. It wasn’t that I didn’t really like some of the guys I had played with, but because we were all so new at it, we were focusing on the act itself without taking the time to relax and just go with the flow. We were too eager to try and do the right thing, nervously trying to make it good for the other guy, while having to deal with new and sometimes overwhelming sensations. It was fun but it wasn’t ever exactly relaxed.
The hotel was one of those beautiful hotels that was once one of the finest hotels in the city. It is wonderfully maintained, in an art deco style. The hotel is older than that, but the 1930s renovation has served it well. It isn’t considered five star any more because the rooms are smaller than we have come to expect from modern hotels today. Nonetheless, I love it because it has history and character.
We had fooled around before, but now we had a hotel room to explore. Crisp white sheets against our skin. Air conditioning at a perfect level. Access to a warm shower and all the fluffy white towels we would need when it was over. We could take our time.
And here is where it was different – I totally and utterly relaxed. For the first time, I just went with the flow. I stopped thinking about what it meant and just enjoyed it. We knew we had the whole night – no parents getting home soon, no chance of being discovered in a car park. It was just fun. And awesome. And not tawdry or dirty – just good clean fun.
I think it was that night that I learned how to make love to someone.
We played for hours, and had ended up sixty-nineing, lying on our sides. I was enoying his hot mouth on my cock and I was loving the taste of his young cock in mine. It wasn’t a frenzied suck – but a consistent, gentle rytham that we were both enoying a great deal. We were totally enjoying the moment, and neither of us was trying to get the other off – we were just having fun. It went on for quite some time and neither of us wanted to stop.
Suddenly, he made a strange sound that was different from the others he had been making.  Something like “uh-oh” as if something was wrong. I pulled his cock out of my mouth to ask what the problem was – just as he grunted and blew a massive load straight into my right eye.
It was totally adorable and funny – and didn’t sting too much. We both lost it laughing on the bed – and somehow it was a very pure and innocent moment.
So that was the day I learned to make love – how to take my time, enjoy it – and enjoy him.
To this day I can make him laugh by wiping my eye in a dramatic fashion. He’s been in a monogamous relationship with his boyfriend for over a decade – and we probably shouldn’t have told him about what wiping my eye was in relation to. I’m not sure his boyfriend likes to be reminded that his life partner once tried to stick my eyelashes together with a self generated protein shake.
In the musical “A Chorus Line” the song Surprise talks about people loosing their virginity. I think the lyrics are beautiful – because it perfectly sums up that moment when I went from having sex to learning how to make love.
the first time we made love,
it was a great big deal
i was too scared to feel nervous from trying
next time we made love, still we we were not a hit
well i thought if this is it, everyone’s lying

but then we did it again
and i forgot to be scared, i guess
cause when we did it again, i closed my eyes

sweet, icicle hot, smooth as a lemon pie
sailing across the sky into the ocean
we liked it a lot, you can imagine why
we had begun to fly feelings in motion

and then we did it again
i’m thinking this is the year for luck
or is it wonderful once in each retry

I’ll never forget the session – and I always think of it when I pass that particular hotel. It was the first time that everything just worked, was relaxed and fun.  No pressure. Not exactly romantic but with a great deal of affection. If you are young and starting out, or have become jaded and cynical, take the time to explore love making.  I love all kinds of sex – it doesn’t have to be all BDSM.  🙂