As I’ve no doubt mentioned before, I do play with a lot of younger guys and beginners. In fact as I write this I’ve had my fist inside four guys aged under 23 in the last ten days! (An 18yo, 19yo, 21yo and 22yo). That’s pretty extraordinary.
But there are a lot of young guys with no experience at all. And sometimes they get nervous before they meet me. Which is entirely understandable. Of course once they do meet me they realize I’m a nice adorkable bear who they can trust – but they aren’t to know that straight off.
One of the problem with young guys is that they often want to go too far, too fast. They talk with people online and eagerly agree to more and more hardcore plans and then when it’s time to play they wimp out.
To all young guys out there, the phrase you are looking for is:
“Listen I think I might have gotten a bit carried away. I’d like to meet up but can we please do a really gentle beginner session?”
A good master will have no problem with you saying that. I’ve been chatting with a young beginner this week and I thought it might be worth sharing some of our emails:
Here’s the best advice you’ll get all week – it’s totally ok to say to a bondage master that “I’m feeling nervous – can we just do X and Y my first time”. Some boys say they want to do everything and when they come to play they wimp out as they’ve set the bar really high. It’s ok to start slow and savour every new experience 😛
Thank-you very much for your kinds words, very re-assuring for a newcomer 🙂 Just a slight issue with pain threshold, I haven’t experienced much pain before, so I might not react well with large amounts of it. That’s not to say I don’t want to do it, but just that it’s not something I’ll be great with first time.
BDSM doesn’t have to be about pain. I’m an interesting Master as I’m not a sadist – my primary objective is to control pleasure. Of course, sometimes a nice mixture of pleasure and pain can ensure a fun time. For me, a slap on the ass isn’t about inflicting pain – it’s an expression by the sub that they are willing to submit to me. Which is really an incredible gift. 🙂 I played with a guy tonight who loves nipple pain – and I went really hard on them. But it wasn’t inflicting plain that got me off, it was seeing how much pleasure it brought him (rock hard and precumming from nipple play). So I’m only into pain if you are. How about I slap your ass a few times and we go onto other things? 😉 So if you don’t want any pain at all – then that’s totally fine.
Also, while reading your blog I noted that you sometimes blindfold boys beforehand, I think that ultimately would be best for me 🙂 Since I haven’t had much experience before, I’d like to be guided by you completely. What activities did you think would be best for a first-time beginner? I’m relatively short, Caucasian, average weight leaning towards skinny. My build isn’t toned, and my body’s more smooth. As for passions, bondage has always been something I’ve been fascinated with 🙂 I long to be tied up, restrained at completely at someone elses mercy, unable to resist in any way. Personality wise, I’d likely be a bit timid at first, that’s why I think blindfolding would be a good idea, so I can be guided by you completely. I’ve always loved the idea of bondage, even when I was around 7 I’d have thoughts about it, though at the time I didn’t associate it with the word “bondage” obviously. So, in a way it’s almost a life-ambition to take part in it 😀 For sexual experiences, I’ve never participated in anything kinky, but I have sucked/been sucked by a guy at my school my age. I enjoyed it, but it’s not really what I crave out of sex. And I love your vivid explanations of activities, that makes my lust far overpower any doubts I may have.
I like the fact you know what you want. 🙂 To address the age question, I’m into younger guys – I’m attracted to youth and an absence of cynicism. However, I also think a key tenant of BDSM is the concept of giving up control – but you need to be old enough to know what that means. So the idea of working over very young guys has no interest for me because I don’t have any confidence that they know what they want. I don’t want to take advantage of people – I want them to know what they want (eg. conceptually) and submit willingly. You are 18 and have been able to articulate what you want – and have clearly carefully considered it – so I’m eager to work you over. 😉 Everyone has doubts about BDSM – that’s what makes it interesting. Whether you play with me or someone else (and I hope it’s me) make sure you stay safe. The danger that young guys have is that some older guys will push them into doing stuff they want to do as they know the young guy is unlikely to complain to police. Obviously you get a safeword – RED – which stops the session. I’m not going to fuck you – there are plenty of other things we can do and there is no need to rush that. If you and I click – and a BDSM relationship is like any other kind of relationship in life – we can talk about that down the track. Don’t get me wrong – I’d love to pop your cherry but you should only do that with someone you respect and have affection for.Don’t build up the session too much in your mind. Think of it as the first session of many – the really tame first session. 🙂 I know it’s hard to get away at your age but think of me as your once a month master 😉 do you live close to the city? As I mentioned, I’m close to Melb Central so easy to get to if you can get to a train station or tram line.
For your first session, expect to be restrained, left alone for a while to get used to it, and played with. Some minor ass perhaps – see how we go. Finally jerked off by me while you are totally helpless. 😉
Happy to give you the details of other boys to check up on me if you want. Do you use I Message?
One last word of advice. BDSM is like rock climbing, it takes time, disposable income, a level of knowledge and training and its lots of fun. But it doesn’t take the place of true love. Nothing ever beats lovemaking with someone you adore. Keep that in mind. 🙂