From time to time some beautiful boys get in touch with me to talk about kink. Often they have very limited experience – which is totally fine as I’ve always been very liberal with advice.

However, recently I’ve been contacted by more boys who have little or no sexual experience at all. The internet means that many virgins are thinking seriously about getting into kink before they’ve had regular sex. I’m ok with this as long as they understand the distinction between the two. I always like to remind them that the best kinky sex in the world doesn’t compare with the amazing connection you have from simply fucking someone you love.

Of course kinky sex can certainly beat the fuck out of vanilla sex with someone you don’t love – so I’m certainly in favour of having both vanilla and non experiences.

I’ve been talking with an eighteen year old from Porto recently who has some very kinky desires but hasn’t yet acted on them. In fact, despite being bi, he’s a virgin both with men and women. It does raise some interesting questions. If you haven’t actually had sex yet, are you sure you’re kinky? I think you are – but it’s important to distinguish between kinky desires and kinky deeds.

While taking with my Porto boy, I thought of a good analogy: Kinky sex is a bit like football. The experience of being a spectator/watching a match is completely different to actually playing a game or kicking a ball around with mates. And that’s ok. They are two very different experiences. Both awesome. Porto boy actually said he prefers to play football than watch the game – the converse of his relationship with sex. It also explains his lean body.

So don’t feel there has to be alignment between what you actually want to do, and the videos you watch or the fantasies in your head. If you really want to jerk off to midget scat porn it doesn’t mean you actually want to get dirty with little people. It’s something you enjoy on a voyeuristic or fantasy level, rather than a participatory level.

Don’t feel pressured to make your experiences real. You absolutely can if you want to but please be aware the experience will be entirely different to your fantasy. Just because you enjoy watching football doesn’t mean you need to lace up. They are different experiences that aren’t necessarily correlated.

Porto boy is still a virgin. He’s attracted to both men and women but his fantasies with Men involve being dominated. There’s no need for him to rush – if he’s being fulfilled by watching porn and jerking off then fine. Have a good time. 🙂

I’m enjoying talking with him – he’s articulate and insightful and pretty damn cute. Hopefully we will see a lot more of him. 🙂 I’m sure he will move into enjoying sex at a participatory level soon – but it doesn’t have to be based on what he watches in the quiet of his own room when his teenage cock begins to rise….