One of things I really enjoy as a BDSM master is the privilege of educating and helping young men to explore their kinks and gain more insights as to what really turns them on. Over the years there’s been a number of really special young men who I’ve formed very close friendships with, and as I get older it’s a little bit hilarious to realize that many of my friends in their 30s I first met as very horny teenagers.

But I thought it would be worth doing a post on the expectations I should have of younger men in relation to myself. Over the years I’ve been a pretty great shoulder to cry on. I feel I supported many young men through some tough times and that’s OK because it came with a level of respect from both parties.

During Covid, I had some bad news in my personal life. How some of the important boys in my life chose to respond to that ultimately resulted in one becoming an even closer friend and the other no longer being part of my life.

One of things I like most about Grayson is that he quite unashamedly says I love you on the phone before he hangs up. It’s a small thing, but it speaks to his character as someone who genuinely cares about other people and takes the time to make sure that the people who are close to him know that he cares for them.

In the case of another Soxster boy, he had been through some challenges. Coming to terms with his sexuality, coming out to his parents, his first boyfriend – I was really supportive. When I got my bad news – I asked for support, in voicemail message and text messages – and there was silence. He may have been going through a bad time himself but he didn’t message back at all. I guess what was most disappointing to me is that when I made it clear that I was in a position where I required support he completely ignored it.

For someone who I considered a really close friend, this was really disappointing. It felt like a betrayal – someone who I had been there for was not there for me when I needed them.

In conclusion, people who take a dominant role in the bedroom often take on a caregiving or advice role to their subs – and that’s OK. It’s something that most of us enjoy and see as a key part of our Dom Sub dynamic. Just please be aware, that when we are in a position where we need emotional support it’s common decency for it to go both ways.

Your big bad scary confident master, might have times when he needs support too.

PS: Dear Ru, Go fuck yourself. I know you’re an only child who has been spoiled his entire life, but please remember other people have feelings – learn some basic fucking decency. Over time I’ve come to accept the implosion of this friendship – and I think this song summarises my feelings perfectly. A longing for a lost friendship that’s irretrievably broken.