Organising and hosting a party can be a fair amount of work, and so we have a few guidelines to ensure we create the right atmosphere and have things run smoothly. We call these…
The Soxster Tenets
Diversity by Design
We strive to make Soxster parties diverse with a targeted age range from 18 to forties. We carefully curate attendance to ensure diversity of sexuality, body type, ethnicity and age. Soxster is for male identifying participants, including FtM guys.
We recognise that you can have dirty sexy fun, but remain polite, thoughtful and gracious. We recognise that not replying to invites by the required date or turning up late to events causes difficulty to others and we undertake to being punctual, polite and courteous in all aspects of our involvement.
We embrace people trying a variety of kinks at the events in a friendly, playful and respectful manner. We do hardcore things but with a sense of fun and joy.
Each participant brings everything they need, including a towel, lube, and drinks. It isn’t cool to bother the host for things during the event as it interrupts them having a good time. We avoid bothering the host with questions before the event, and instead reach out to other participants.
To create, maintain and build the Soxster community, participants help by writing up their experiences at a party they have attended, or post photos and videos. Posts should be tagged with #SoxsterX We aim to encourage people to experience kinky group sex in a social and fun environment.
We work together to create the event and step up to help with set up or clean up. We look for opportunities to offer help rather than waiting to be asked.
Every participant pledges to make the community a drama free environment by taking responsibility for not disparaging other participants and removing themselves from situations they don’t feel comfortable in.
It is the responsibility of all people to act ethically and take responsibility for their own safety and the safety of others. We believe in taking sexual health seriously, regular testing. We understand that group fun comes with risks, but we manage those. If someone contracts an STI at a party they tell the host; and everyone acknowledges that it is the right thing to do.
Community not Commercial
Soxster parties are not designed to make a profit – any fees are designed to cover costs. Photos and videos consensually taken at parties May end up on paid services like OnlyFans but they should also be made available for free.
During the events we strive to create a temporary oasis from the world – no one plays with their phone and we live together in the moment.
In terms of practical things:
The first thing is to please indicate if you are attending as soon as possible. If you can’t make it please select not attending so we know you’ve seen it and don’t need to chase you up. If you can’t make it last minute please update your status. If you miss multiple parties we will remove you from the group. You’re welcome to reach out to be readmitted.
Please arrive within the hour specified. Opening and closing the door destroys the atmosphere we are trying to create. If you can’t make it on-time, please decline and wait for another event. The hosts will not check their phones after the start time, so that everyone can enjoy the event (including the hosts). It isn’t fair to ask if you can arrive late.
Please BYO drinks, towel and a bag to put your clothes and shoes in. We provide pizza, lube and other things for which we ask a $10 contribution for those who can afford it. Cash or PayID transfer. Every party runs at a loss but it’s worth it for the memories! (If you can afford to throw a few extra dollars in that would be great).
Attending parties is at your own risk. Parties of this sort include a number of inherent risks and by attending you accept these – and we expect you to exercise good judgement and be responsible for your own safety.
There is no obligation to do anything at the party except be social. This is not a party with people on their phones in the corner – we expect you to chat and talk with other guests. Friendly, playful, kinky fun.
Consent is sexy – please ask before you play with people. Say no respectfully and yes enthusiastically. We expect everyone to look out for everyone else. It’s totally ok to watch until you feel comfortable before asking to join in.
There is normally only one bathroom so please share. Douche before you attend if you possibly can.
At the end of the night please offer to help clean up. Things like wiping down surfaces, collecting and washing glasses, or helping to clean the bathroom are really welcomed. Lube gets everywhere – help track it down. 😳 Seriously – grab some paper towel and go on a lube hunt!
Photos are taken at parties by the hosts and posted on Twitter and other platforms. No faces unless you allow. Indicate if you don’t want photos taken – we assume the back of your head is ok.
Questions and Answers
Can I take my own photos?
No, only the hosts or a photographer nominated by them can take photos except if the event allows guests to take their own in the playroom (content collaboration parties)
Can I party and play?
Absolutely not. The only drugs we allow are alcohol and amyl/poppers – which are BYO. If we think you have taken something before you arrive you’ll be asked to leave.
Can I bring my own toys?
Yes. It’s polite to share (after considering STIs of course).
What happens with STIs?
There are risks associated with sex. If you subsequently become aware you attended a party with an STI or you suspect you contracted one at a party we will let other guests know. We would prefer you consent to let them know who you are, but will be anonymous where appropriate. If you have symptoms of an STI please do not attend.
What is everyone’s status? Raw or safe?
You are expected to ask people you are playing with about their status and make your own judgement. Condoms are provided
What’s the dress code?
With the exception of underwear parties we normally stay clothed as people arrive and strip down once the entry time has finished. Stay in your underwear until you feel comfortable
Can I wear leather, rubber, pup hoods, diapers, etc?
Yes to leather, rubber and pup hoods. Diapers for designated special events only.
What if I feel awkward and out of place?
Attending a Soxster party is a bit like joining an amateur sporting team – you need to get to know your team mates, the club culture and some of the rules. You’re going to be fine – just relax and talk to people. If you’re worried we can assign someone to introduce you to others. Just ask!
Will <person> be there?
You can see on the Facebook group who has RSVP’d to events. Please don’t ask the host who will be there – if you’re mature enough to attend an orgy you’re mature enough to either check who is attending online or be in the same space as someone.
Where do I put my stuff?
Please bring a bag or backpack to put all your stuff in so it stays together, including your shoes. We don’t have enough space to have things strewn everywhere. Please make sure you take all your things with you after an event – keeping them all in your bag makes this easier.
Guidelines for Hosts of SoxsterX events
If you’re thinking of hosting a SoxsterX event (that is an event that follows the Soxster format but is not organised by Andrew Soxster, then here are a few guidelines. However, ultimatum it’s your party. If these guidelines don’t work for you then no problem at all but please don’t use the term Soxster or SoxsterX.
Party organiser should ensure that lube, condoms, gloves and paper towels are available.
We recommend setting an entry window of one hour.
The goal is an event with at least 15 people.
Heavily discouraged the use of phones – designate one person as the official photographer. Do not allow others to photograph or film to create a safe environment for those who do not wish to be recorded.
Ensure there is one designated organiser whose role is to ensure a wide variety of ages, and a diverse crowd.
Order pizzas to arrive halfway through the arrival period (e.g. if people are due to arrive between 6pm and 7pm, order the pizzas for 6:30pm). We recommend one pizza for every three guests, and a third of the pizzas being gluten free. It’s often easier to order from two separate companies, so you can say “Y brand is regular and Z brand is gluten free”.
We want Soxster parties to be affordable and accessible. Please provide free entry to those who cannot afford it and make every attempt to keep the entry fee low.
Please write to Andrew Soxster for permission to be a SoxsterX party.