William’s assignment was pretty simple. I wanted him to write 400 words on the difference between the fantasy and the reality of his first BDSM experience. It will never be exactly what you expect – it will differ in terms of the physicals acts, the emotional headspace, the connection between the master and sub. Here are his thoughts after his first session:
The fantasy of BDSM has been with me for many years but it’s never one I’ve actively sought until recently. However, in making the decision to seek out this side of my sexuality there was always a risk, when pursued, the reality would fall short of all I hoped it would be.
Several days after my night with Andrew I think I’m able to reflect on how different the reality was.
In the ways I needed the reality to match the fantasy it did and where necessary, the reality delivered so much more than I ever hoped it could.
It’s no coincidence I selected Andrew as the vehicle through which my fantasies would be delivered. While it was chance that our paths crossed, it was planning that ensured we meet. In the 11 days between first contact and ‘first contact’ (yes I counted them) there were well over a hundred emails, several dozen texts, and two very long phone calls. Through that conversation I put several questions to him that while he may not have been aware, were crucial to us meeting. His answers both reassured and challenged me.
I said earlier I entered this with a view to make it happen. The correspondence with Andrew was not part of a virtual wank without the intention of following through. I think because I viewed every text and email as a prelude to meeting it helped ensure the eventual meeting would have a concrete bond between fantasy and reality. I had a much more accurate view on what to expect and Sir knew exactly what I was expecting.
I was very lucky that Andrew has introduced many boys to BDSM. While I wanted to meet a lot sooner, he made me wait. In hindsight I can see that waiting that extra little while was really important in solidifying in my mind why I wanted this. This meant many of the feelings of anticipation and excitement I felt in the fantasy were exactly those that I ended up feeling in the reality.
Of course where the reality far exceeded the fantasy was in the sex itself. The sounding, the wax, the sling were far better than I could have fantasized and because I was so comfortable and trusting of Andrew, I was able to let myself go completely and just enjoy the experience.
